If you’ve found that your senior and you just can’t get onto the same page about anything, you’re not alone. This can be really common and there are ways around it.
Figure out Why She Doesn’t Like What You Have to Say
There’s rarely one reason your senior is acting the way that she is. You may feel that she’s just being stubborn, but there may be a lot more to it. Is your senior afraid of the changes you’re suggesting? She may worry that some of the ideas you’re sharing reduce her independence or may lead to her having to leave her home. Or it might be as simple as cognitive changes from an undiagnosed illness at play. Some of these issues are easier to find on your own than others, of course.
Pick Your Battles Wisely
That’s why you need to choose your battles wisely. If your elderly family member is digging in her heels about whatever topic you’re talking with her about, you need to assess whether that’s an argument that’s worth having. When these conversations involve safety, for example, you might stick to your guns. Other issues that are less crucial might be ones you let go of for now.
Go in with Facts, Not Emotions
When you are sticking to your guns, make sure you’re leading with facts instead of emotions. There’s nothing wrong with you feeling emotional about issues that affect your senior’s care, but she might not feel the same way. Leading with facts gives you a chance to get all of the important information out there and it’s harder for her to argue with facts.
Learn When You Need to Just Accept the Situation
There are going to be times when you simply need to accept what’s going on. That’s not going to feel good at all, but you and your senior can very easily get to a point in which neither of you is going to sway the other. That doesn’t mean that you both have to agree, but it may need acceptance for now.
Bring in Extra Help
Something else to consider is that sometimes, even when you care about each other, you and your senior may just never see eye to eye. That can happen in a variety of relationships and it makes caregiving so much more difficult. Bringing in a caregiver can sometimes relieve a lot of that tension, simply because you’re stepping to the side a little bit.
Your senior may not want to be at odds with you, either, but it’s not always easy to let that go.